Engaging Boys – A Practical Guide

Engaging Boys

How To Engage Boys

[Updated 29 November 2018]

Why is engaging boys so difficult?

Boys are treated like defective girls”, so says psychologist and author Michael Thompson. I think he’s right. Have you noticed that boys are frequently compared to girls with regards to exam scores, classroom behaviour, the standard of work produced and neatness of presentation? Many boys fail to perform as well in these areas,  leading to ‘poor’ performance in formal examinations where it counts the most. Engaging boys to raise their attainment is clearly a huge challenge.

So, are boys just not as good as girls when it comes to formal assessment? Or is the system unfairly rigged to favour girls over boys? Let’s see.

Myth: “All boys are the same”

Not true! Just look at the last group of boys you taught and their wide spectrum of attributes. Boys are often excitable, creative, loud and headstrong. However, there are quiet boys too, who lack confidence, struggle creatively and who seem distant when you try to engage them. There are even quiet boys who are incredibly confident and loud boys who are overcompensating due to their own perceived weaknesses. It is often difficult to decide which “category” they fit into. However, the real challenge for educators is to move away from “categorising” boys at all but to understand how differently WE treat them.

So what’s the solution? Should we just train the boys to be like the girls?

The problem with boys and girls…

Toys

Many of the boys I teach typically read less often and consequently read fewer books than the girls – particularly fiction books. Why is this? Is it because boys don’t enjoy reading? No. Is it a lack of quality authors writing for male audiences? No. It’s more complex than that. Engaging boys differently to girls is crucial and here’s why:

Girls are typically brought up in a different way to boys. Their toys and games are different. The heavily gendered characters and storylines in the cartoons they watch are very different. The roles they are expected to play, due to their genders are extremely different. This causes a knock-on effect: at school when boys and girls are given the same task to do, they will naturally approach it in different ways, due to the way they have been conditioned by their environment.

The consequence…

Girls are often more collaborative in their approach to tasks, seeking guidance and support, constantly engaging in a feedback loop with their peers and teachers. Girls are encouraged to do this through the type of play where conversations are a key element.

Conversely, boys are often more solitary, waiting until they have completed a task (to whatever standard) to then present their finished product to others for feedback. Once given feedback, boys then get on with solitary work again. Boys are not encouraged by fellow boys, nor do they seek encouragement. The need for support is perceived by boys as a weakness. Their style of play is heavily dominated by competition and shows of individual strength.

Girls are also better prepared for tasks involving empathy, evaluation of evidence and being diplomatic, as those skills are built into the types of “play” activities they participated in when they were younger. Have you ever witnessed a dolls tea party? Compare that scene to a boy smashing a Lego house with a dinosaur. Which skills do you think will benefit those children in a formal examination? Boys are expected to grow up to be brave, resilient, confident leaders who take no prisoners. These are useful traits in many areas but less so in formal examinations.

The solution to engaging boys is threefold!

1. Stop valuing “girly” attributes over “boyish” attributes

Let’s face it, in most cases neither of those terms are used in a positive way. However, we teachers often forget that stories about aliens destroying a football stadium can have as much literary value as a love poem. We arbitrarily celebrate the types of media that girls tend to gravitate towards and we negatively stereotype the media that boys gravitate towards. The result is that boys become used to hearing that certain things they value are worthless. They might love pirate stories, but after being told that they shouldn’t read them all the time, they eventually stop reading, because they aren’t interested in reading anything else. Boys then lose interest in their favourite things and many lose interest in general.

2. Competition?

Engaging boys in competition

Boys often love competition. However, this is also a lazy stereotype. Some boys hate it and would rather work collaboratively, rather than in an adversarial way. Not only that but as I wrote earlier, boys need to learn the skills of collaboration in our classrooms, as they often won’t be taught this explicitly in their “home” environment.

Be patient with boys here, it often won’t come as naturally as it does with girls – the boys haven’t had anywhere near as much practice! Competition is great for engaging some boys but you must include opportunities for collaboration within the competitive environment too.

One book that I think you’ll find useful on strategies for boys is Gary Wilson’s Pocket Pal: Raising Boys’ Achievement [affiliate link]. It’s full of quick and easy tips, based on extensive practical experience in the classroom.

3. Feedback loops

Feedback Loops

Feedback is crucial for engaging boys. The earlier in their lives that boys learn to give and accept feedback, without any fear of perceived weakness, the better they will perform and the faster they will progress. The feedback must be a continual process, like a conversation – not just an event at the end of a piece of work. As by then, the feedback is too late in many respects.

Once boys are able to use the feedback process more naturally, they will begin to be able to develop deeper self-evaluation skills and may even engage more often in independent learning too. This helps to narrow the gap between boys and girls.

4. The Teacher-Student Relationship

In my experience, having a positive relationship with the boys you teach makes the biggest difference. This isn’t rocket-science, we should be aiming for this in all of our students. However, when boys are often boisterous, the positive teacher-student relationship we need and they often crave can be difficult to maintain. Keeping this at the forefront of your mind, though, can be the one thing that makes the difference in the long-run. Don’t expect the boys you teach to be as naturally compliant as the girls. Work hard at engaging the boys, through challenging work and even just by having a conversation with them as they work. Find out what makes them tick and show your interest in their lives. The boys I teach respond particularly well to this and it has made a huge difference to the attitude they show in my lessons and towards their work in general.

Any thoughts…?

Do you have any tips on how you engage boys in your lessons? Leave a comment!

You can find me on Twitter (@guruteaching) and now on Pinterest too. 

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